the sound of one hand clapping [entries|friends|calendar] pale september [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) you laugh a lot [06 Oct 2008|02:01pm] I eat too much I laugh too long I'll miss too much of you when I'm gone vs. "'Tis a shame, for I dearly love to laugh."

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [01 Oct 2008|04:19pm] [ mood | my neck and spine fucking hurt ] I'M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT there, are we done now? can we get something done today? fuck.

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) note to self: remember when you used to be good at Subtle? [24 Sep 2008|04:58pm] 1. i've been a bad bad... 2. "Wrongful life" suit (the world finally recognizes, that wrongful life is just as bad as wrongful death, if not worse...) 3. Covet

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [27 Jul 2008|04:16pm] some old quotes i ran across just now cleaning "I'm not good enough for self-esteem" - t-shirt "Your internal anguish is like candy." - Jake ("kyle") Feb 16, 2027 7:53p.m. (???apocalypse???)

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [27 Mar 2008|05:33pm] you never fucking know with you people

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [11 Mar 2008|11:18pm] strange wave of sadness over me and i don't know who to call wish you were here but not really sure who the "you" is so... wish i weren't here?

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [16 Feb 2008|01:57am] fuck falling for someone. fuck falling for someone despite my best attempts not to. fuck falling for someone despite knowing better than that. fuck taking risks. fuck asking for what i want. fuck this time and place. i just have to remember how i made it through all the other times. except that i do. a lot and lot of stretch of sea of time till the emotion drains. but i don't want to be numb. for once, i think even i deserve to be loved. by the one i want. well, no i don't think i deserve it. but i sure do want it bad. edit: i should add, the morning after, fuck having too much wine and letting it make you dumb. way to go!

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [12 Feb 2008|01:58pm] No. I only want to be with you.

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [04 Feb 2008|01:33pm] to be honest, now i do think you are being ... but i can't tell you this because i would not be able to fend for myself when you ask me to explain. i could not do it in words. and i can't very well just feel at you, can i? several folks have said in response to the change, "oh but i thought you two were having problems?" and i spent some time being surprised and convincing others we weren't but maybe i wish there was a fly on the wall who would have convinced me that we were (but where else would have i gone? stayed there? too late and too early to go far away) sometimes i feel like with all the times you say i do not know you, i only have your number more how much do you think you know about who i am? maybe i should have stayed shy i remember one night at a party i was falling asleep, trying not to and i opened my eyes and you were looking at me i would like to have known what you were thinking then

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [22 Jan 2008|12:31am] i mean fuck let's be honest enough is enough

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [25 Oct 2007|11:07am]

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [20 Feb 2007|03:37pm] okay this is where i start missing the shaws job certainly the mail sorting job i do not have brains i am not cut out for anything i need magical powers Suhakshk aafsilhfsd s fuck asljfs sji shit aldjalsjd asl asid aslajsfuckduf[z;fks jds;ljfa sdljf;lsd

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [15 Feb 2007|09:55pm] "so what's in your life now besides your job and your shitty apartment?"

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [11 Feb 2007|08:29pm] [ music | "sweet adeline" elliott smith ] It's a picture perfect evening and I'm staring down the sun Fully loaded deaf and dumb and done Waiting for sedation to disconnect my head Or any situation where I'm better off than dead

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [16 Jan 2007|02:00pm] why do i eat when i'm thirsty and drink when i'm hungry?

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [13 Oct 2006|10:26am] no but seriously when did it happen? when were you going to tell me? were you going to tell me? why didn't you yet? you have to let me be happy for you no wonder i got that sudden pang of missing you so much

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [12 Oct 2006|11:51am] Sometimes i want so badly to be intelligent and confident and sane sometimes i yearn so much for Harvard and Greenwich Village Sometimes for Brown and France i want skill and ability and stability or do i want to be superhero i mean does anybody really have all of this it's between wanting at least to be okay and wanting the world, in a way but mostly non-existence all or nothing more like all and nothing i regret so much so many things i wish i had and had not done so many things i wish i had done differenly found the courage to change be silent be still be studious be.

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [20 Aug 2006|04:26pm] [ music | "lover i don't have to love" bright eyes ] I picked you out of a crowd and talked to you I said I liked your shoes You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?" So it's up the stairs and out of view No prying eyes I poured some wine I asked your name, you asked the time Now it's two o'clock the club is closed and we're up the block Your hands on me; I'm pressing hard against your jeans Your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out You didn't care to know who else may have been you before I want a lover I don't have to love I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck Where is the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said to meet him here, but I'm not sure I got the money if you've got the time You said it feels good I said, "I'll give it a try." Then my mind went dark we both forgot where your car was parked Let's just take the train I'll meet up with the band in the morning Bad actors with bad habits Some sad singers they just play tragic and the phone's ringing and the van's leaving Let's just keep touching; let's just keep, keep singing... I want a lover I don't have to love I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk And where's the kid with the chemicals? I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full I need some meaning I can memorize The kind I have always seems to slip my mind But you... But you... You write such pretty words But life's no storybook Love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt Do you like to hurt? I do, I do then hurt me...

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) [23 Jun 2006|05:51pm] [ music | Underwater Circus- "Not You" ] I just don’t want to be with you there’s simply nothing you could do to change my mind to make me wanna sleep with you

(sink in the silence that echoes inside ) regal [21 May 2006|09:52pm] well, that's a first. :-D i mean NO i am a bad person. BAD! i don't deserve compliments

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